Sarah Crow

Writer, natural redhead, semi-professional napper.
Sarah Crow has written 62 posts for Sarah Crow

Are You Having the Right Amount of Sex? (Probably!)

(Originally published by GQ) The New York Times recently investigated two of its favorite subjects: boning and millennials. What they found might shock you! While general human curiosity may be piqued by the subject of coitus, if we have to point a finger in the direction of the real perverts in the room, they are, … Continue reading

Why You Should Always Split the Bill

(Originally published by GQ) An argument for always going Dutch “You ain’t gotta be rich, but fuck that, how we gonna get around on your bus pass?” asks Amil on “Can I Get A,” a classic Jay Z collaboration about personal finance. While I don’t know that bus passes are something that most people concern … Continue reading

Do I Have to Tip My [BLANK]?

(Originally published by GQ)   If you’ve ever ventured outside of the United States, you’ve probably noticed that there’s a seismic cultural shift the second you touch down. The nuns and infants have left their handguns at home, and on receipts, the tip line magically disappears. To the rest of the world, American tipping culture … Continue reading

The Best and Worst Emoji for Getting It In

(Originally published by GQ) Forget the eggplant. Or the donut. These are the best Bat Signals… for sex. As Alabama governor Robert Bentley found out the hard way, turning emoji texts into a bone sesh isn’t always as simple as it looks—especially when you’re sending them to the wrong woman. Bentley’s mistake didn’t end at … Continue reading

How to Deal When You Hate Your Girlfriend’s Friends

(Originally published by GQ) Are her friends chronic shit-talkers? Does one of them maybe want to see your peen? Don’t fret and proceed accordingly. Without romantic relationships, our newspaper headlines would have nothing to offer but story after story of men and women dying alone, crushed under an ever-growing pile of Hot Pockets wrappers. While, … Continue reading

The Case For Separate Blankets

(Originally published on GQ.com) In the long list of stupid things I have said, done, and thought, perhaps none have been so fundamentally misguided as trying to maintain a romantic relationship with someone I have had to share covers with. While sharing a bed with someone you love/enjoy splitting bills with is an act that … Continue reading

How to Eat Food On a Date

(Originally published on GQ.com) Eating: it’s weird, it’s messy, and rumor has it, it makes even Gwyneth Paltrow poop. While most of us know eating to be an activity reserved for Game of Thrones weddings and Japanese game shows, it’s rumored that some people are doing it every single day—even on dates. But should you? … Continue reading

How to Be a Good Boyfriend

  (Originally published on GQ.com) For an activity predicated on the desire to be in and around the softer parts of other people, dating is, ironically, super hard. While women have the luxury of simply showing up looking like a land mermaid with a mink slipper vagina, a man’s role in the online-stranger sex fiasco … Continue reading

Watching TV Together Is Love

(Originally published on GQ.com) We should all be lucky to have someone we can watch the same shows with. Since most people are just pretending to care about baseball to impress some dad somewhere, I’m going to go ahead and say it: TV-watching is our real national pastime. (Come at me, drunk Yankees fans.) Night … Continue reading

How to Hug a Woman

Sure, it might sound easy on paper. But there are subtleties a man must consider when bringing it in for the real thing. As black sheep children with liberal arts degrees and non-profit jobs continue to decimate the lineage of America’s blue blood families, the air kiss is going the way of the dinosaur. In … Continue reading